dreamyvee's Blogs

For my life on this earth. For it could have been worse. So many people suffer in ways I could never understand, so many people are without the necessities that I often don't realize I am so lucky to have at my fingertips at all times. For my family - This includes all my relationships. With whom ever I have a connection with, is family to me. I am blessed with true soul friendships and deeply value and cherish them. I am blessed with an opportunity to finally have a relationship with my mom and siblings, grandparents and especially my dear cousin and best friend in the world. I couldnt be happier in terms of family. For having all that I need -Shelter, food, clothing, love. Enough to get by. Money never mattered to me except just being able to pay bills to stay afloat. I never cared about having all these rich and fancy things unless it was only to impress or live up to others standards and expectations-which I no longer care to do. I could live in the woods in a tent for all I care and eat vegetables, As long as I have what I need. What else is there? For Gods Love-How else can I put it-There is a energy and existence much greater than you or I, that is ALL there is in everything we see, smell, touch, hear, taste. and It is all around us when we are open to see it. God is not a magical man in the sky-He is Love, He is the Universe, He is All that exists for He created us, we are in his image. I feel that Gods Love, even when I chose not to see it, is here with me at all times. More and More I realize there is a lesson to be learned in all the pain I endure in lifes situations. We must surrender to and accept them. I am quite attached to the third dimension although fully aware that this earth is shifting from this level of existence and I am trapped somewhere in between. But I know that I am learning, everyday, and each day is a chance to start over new. I am grateful that God has protected me and has kept me safe through all the hard times. I know God wishes for me to live and find freedom within this prison. For Other People-There are so many workers of love and light all around us, spreading messages of wellness and enlightenment and compassion, sometimes I am lost and so blessed to cross paths with these beings, who empower me and motivate me to keep going, to have the faith, to have nothing but love. I am so thankful for the many teachers who have crossed my path, and thankful knowing there shall be many more when the time is right. For Love- In the darkness, love can always overcome any pain and sadness. Love is the most powerful thing there is in this life. It can heal, it can create, it can move mountains if powerful enough. LOve is all that is needed in this world, on this planet, for a truly beautiful and peaceful existence. I practice acts of love every day, without expecting anything back. For laughter- Truly the best medicine. We forget to stop taking life so serious and even laugh at our unpleasant situations. We forget to act stupid, silly, crazy. We forget to pull pranks on our friends or laugh at jokes. We must learn to laugh, it is also a beautiful healing tool in times of darkness. LAUGH! I laugh at myself and to myself all the time. I couldnt make it without pranking friends or doing silly things. For My Job- Helping others to LIVE Is a blessing in itself. I dont know how many tears I have cried out of joy when I see the people I serve rise above what is expected of them. The system doesn't promote recovery, but a good amount of the people serving these folks do promote it, very much. I think we are in this for a reason and its the most rewarding feeling when You see someone make positive changes in their lives and have the realizations for the first time that they can do anything they set their mind to and can be free...of the stigmas, labels, expectations, illness!. When they look to you and thank you so much for your support, feelings of love become overwhelming. I am so proud of my folks, I will continue to help them in whatever way I can, especially by helping myself grow to set an example. I believe in anyone who wants to change, I know they can do it. For Freedom-I often say I am in prison, I am trapped due to lifes circumstances not matching up to what I long for. so I forget that I still do have an incredible amount of freedom compared to so many others on the planet. I am lucky that where I live, even with so many stupid pathetic restrictions and laws, I still am free to do so much of what I want. For The sun, the moon, the stars, the colors and sights of the earth-There is so much beauty in all that exists, I am grateful to be able to see and feel it. For art, and music For the ability to see beyond this illusion-I am SO GRATEFUL most of all for a higher consciousness and the ability to tune into other planes and have realizations that keep me alive, that keep me moving, that keep me working hard. I couldnt fathom not having this and being in such a world like which we live, going through so much pain and sadness in life without knowing there is something more, there is a reason to be here and thrive. Without knowing that God is within me, I would be lost. Thank you.

Sometimes I wonder how such a free spirited soul such as me, ended up in this double prison. One being the environment I live in, and the other being my fragile mind as time is ticking on and more anxieties cripple my feelings of hope and optimism for a colourful and truthful future. I am afraid I will never escape in this lifetime. I feel like a caged bird. Many days pass where I spend a lot of my time daydreaming, longing for a time when I could pack all my belongings in my car and drive off into the sunset. A time when I could spend my days in nature, self sustaining, breathing fresh air, listening to the birds sing, feeling the warmth of the sun shining up on me. A time when I didn't have to go to work like a slave, doing things I don't believe in because I have no choice. Making just enough to pay for things I didn't even ask for, or need. Working hard for all my money to end up in the pockets of people and places that don't even deserve it, such as a war I never supported where people kill-The most evil thing a human being could ever do. In the city life, hammers and cars and drills feel like nails on a chalkboard. Many days now in the dead of winter are dark , gray and gloomy. I never see the green grasses, the blue skies, the wild animals. I never see the ocean crash into the shore. I never see the world as nature intended me to see it. All I see are buildings, businesses, people, cars, snow, rain, ice. I have never truly travelled. I have lived in this shitty part of MA all my life except for 9 months on the beach during my first attempt to escape. I caught a small breath of freedom. 15 hours on the road all alone, with everything I owned, going somewhere new to start again. No one knew me. I met many friends and I saw many blue skies. IF only I had been mentally ready to enjoy this at the time, I could have kept going. But It wasnt the right time. People try to tell me that this is life. This is just the way it is. You have responsibilities. You have to make something of your self. You have to go to college, get a real job someday. You're just a dreamer, you don't think realistically. I wish I could just smack everyone in the face and say WAKE UP-This is NOT how us humans were TRULY meant to live. However I mostly remain quiet, sharing my vision with the very few who have any sort of understanding of where I am coming from. With everyone else I just play the pathetic game they call life. I have absolutely no idea what the future has in store, nor does anyone else. I once became insanely paranoid when I filled my mind with so called conspiracy theories and prophecies, but I no longer tune into this garbage. I understand the concept that its "all about perception" and you ultimately create your own reality. So I let go of those fears, of the worry of where the leaders of the world will take us and what will happen to the little freedom we have now. I concentrate now on the only thing that really matters in this life-working on myself. Because although I long to fall off the map,, I also care for the well-being of this entire planet, even for those that do harm, and the only way I can help them is to better myself. And no matter where I should go, If I don't heal my mind and body first, I will still be in prison. My days now only consist of a handful of things. I try to help the people I serve see the world beyond mental illness. I try to empower them to rise above and beyond the expectations of the system they belong to and feel what its really like to live and be in the drivers seat of your own mind-Something I am only beginning to touch upon. I work on eating and living naturally, I have joined the gym and begin to get physically fit for the hikes We will be taking in the summer, and for the trails we will eventually adventure on to. For confidence, healing and elimination of the fear to move forward, I meditate and practice chakra healing. This past year after so many profound experiences I have embraced spirituality. I spend time with my dear family, both born and soul but I try to treat all others I meet with respect and kindness, even if I don't like them because all and all they are just like me. I ask God for forgiveness and for the ability to love all others as He loves me. I ask for the strength and awareness to understand the lessons in this life and pass through them safety. I work on not being so negative and pessimistic because I understand the laws of attraction now. I ask for guidance to help stay on the path of truth and light. I try to remember that this life is truly an illusion, that I don;t have to take it all so seriously, that I can laugh and play as much as I have to work and pay. Most of all, I remember that one day, when the time is right, I will know what it really means to be free. SO for now, as I wait for the winter weather to pass and for the colours and sights of the natural world to brighten mine and fill my soul with love, As I wait for the time when it will be right to leave this pseudo-life for the real thing, I work on myself. Its all I have to have a small grasp of freedom within this prison so many of us think is the only way to live.

Oh my love from above carry me , carry me through the mud and rain take me to sunshine again.
oh my eye in the sky watch me, watch me grasp my chest in pain then help me to smile again.
i know you have a path for me, I know you have a plan i know you have a reason, for all the seasons my heart stands Sometimes I get so tired I wish to sleep eternally but you ask me to stay, each and everyday because you need me to be free
oh my love from above take my hand and guide me through the darkness into light show me how to ease the pain show me how to love again
my absolute truth make me understand why i am here, and what i have to give help me learn to trust in you help me learn to trust him too
give me a chance to feel love radiate all around me help me know where i am from help my friends and family
Oh One and Only take the selfishness from me help me to give to others first then give me only what i need
Oh Light of souls I love you so Please light up the way help us find peace and love today.